The Asperger's Girl Guide

Waiting for life to start is like waiting for a bus to arrive (I'm stood at a bus stop now) developments that can kick start the process of making the 'next step' can be difficult ... I know as I'm doing it now and I'm already impatiently waiting for it to begin.  Whether it's getting a qualification or just getting a job life isn't exciting unless you're doing something that you love.  After all the training, it's the process of getting noticed ... being noticed is different as we all like to live in the shadows but hey that isn't going to help.  I'm sick of watching trash TV, Washing , cleaning the house and basically doing nothing after trying to better myself for the last 6 years , help is needed ... effort is required and most of all self confidence which at the moment I do not have in bucket loads.  Here is the major issue with my AS is that I doubt myself on a regular basis on every little thing I do - to me it isn't good enough!  ...

no i'm n ot writing a column about sex and relationships but as I wait for the bus to go and see someone about getting advice on how to further my career.  But I am in the stage where I'm starting to think and act like a single 20 something trying to start my life after education , and i don't want a shitty job in ASDA unless in the media department!  money makes the world go round and for an AS person getting a job seems to be the scariest thing. So i'm taking action already writing a book ... blogging and getting or building radio skills ... so that i can finally do what i love !  and what i've spent three years (6 years if you count college) getting my qualifications .  After this meeting I'm hooking up with my friends and having a giggle , plus lunch in a BBQ place which serves Egyptian food and I can't wait ... would be with my friends but this needs to be done :)  Sophie xxx

The Ironic thing about getting and even passing a degree when you have Aspergers is that like the rest of your graduate friends, getting into the work place isn't as easy as it is believed. With AS it becomes more and more complicated and although I have 2 blogs on the go and a radio show (may it be Volunteering or Not) the help to get into the work place or to set up your own business can be tough without help and support.  But when you try to get that help and support in the form of an organisation set up and given funding by the local authority to help autistic children and young adults to gain help so that they can further their lives. So why is it that when I try and access this help there is nothing to show for it? As a person who was diagnosed later on in their teens, the help and support I should've received was not really available and when I heard that the charity was taking on adults I (looking back) took a gamble and decided to try and take on the help. But I fe...

So i have been informed that I have now got a grade 2:1 ( which is a B) in TV and Radio from the University of Salford. I have been crying on and off for the last couple of hours and so have my friends for that matter!  I can't believe that three years ago I was crying because I got into the university I wanted to go to and now I have completed it , there is this massive relief that falls off your shoulders. It's been hard, completely draining and agonising from start to finish but in the end worth every second. Another chapter has ended and a new one beginning and i'm only 22 years old.  So what does the future hold ????  Whatever I want me thinks :D  Sophie xxxx

As a person that loves to socialise, being with friends in a local pub can be lovely, sitting and talking about different things including Holidays, but it's when the people around start to get drunk that a lovely evening can turn sour.  I like to go out and have a good time with my friends (being the age of 22 years old) but as someone who tonight was sober and everyone else around was getting more and more out of control the noise and choas getting overboard I began to not feel like I could cope.  Choatic environments are not the best places for AS people to be, noise, swearing, drinks spilling everwhere ( as a dyspraxic as well it is a health hazard) and people becomming more amd more aggressive when they drink does not help the situation as anxiety builds.  In this case I felt like I had no escape and even going outside to avoid the situation did not help as I was followed - it was making me anxious. The pub is my local so luckily I know the staff who will let me come...

So update, I've finished university and now I am trying to fill my time what ever I can get my hands on, i'm still working at the radio station once a week, tune in if you wish... but other than that i'm currently trying to write a book.  As an AS person, creativity is one of our many talents, but to actually sit down and concerntrate on a book can be difficult. Again i'm looking into the depths of my own mind, my imagination runs runs wild and is untamed so I can be up in the early hours of the morning writing something. I have already written 4 chapters and although I know the plot and story it constantly shifts and changes.  Unlike writting a script , you can go into more detail and that detail can be anything you want it to be, on the surface it might seem like something is going to happen and I will draw it out without thinking. Writing is a theorpy, frustrations can be released, and whether it's a fanfiction or just a private story it can places you want to ex...

I can't explain what I felt today, remember my last post where I mentioned that I have finished my degree and the elation I felt because of that. I told a story about when I was at school and what I would say to my 13 year old self. Today I explored this in more detail with a councillor and the only reason I am sharing this with you is that for the first time in 5 maybe 6 years I opened myself up to trusting myself for the first time in my life. As a 22 year old looking back at this terrified little girl who felt like she had no one in the world but herself I felt horrible as she still lives within me, screaming for help and I can't bring myself to help her as I know, even when she looks at me with her tortured eyes and expression (I visualise things) I couldn't bare the site. It was like she was begging me and I couldn't even hold her hand and tell her everything is going to be alright and she should trust me. Trust issues is something everyone will go through whe...