Opening up old wounds
I can't explain what I felt today, remember my last post where I mentioned that I have finished my degree and the elation I felt because of that. I told a story about when I was at school and what I would say to my 13 year old self. Today I explored this in more detail with a councillor and the only reason I am sharing this with you is that for the first time in 5 maybe 6 years I opened myself up to trusting myself for the first time in my life. As a 22 year old looking back at this terrified little girl who felt like she had no one in the world but herself I felt horrible as she still lives within me, screaming for help and I can't bring myself to help her as I know, even when she looks at me with her tortured eyes and expression (I visualise things) I couldn't bare the site. It was like she was begging me and I couldn't even hold her hand and tell her everything is going to be alright and she should trust me. Trust issues is something everyone will go through whe