The Anxiety Cycle
Anxiety is a normal thing that every human has, it's actual definition is: A feeling of worry, nervousness or unease about something with an uncertain outcome.
But when Anxiety takes over and the worrying, nervous and uneasy feelings become apart of your daily life and even begins to dictate your decisions it can become isolating, painful, and even destructive.
People with Aspergers know this feeling all to well and with the aid of the self analysing every moment of your life in overdrive it can become more of a debilitating cycle that if not broken can ruin your life if not addressed properly.
Now before you run around the room, with your hands on the side of your head trying not to rip your hair out, the first thing to do is take a step back and breathe.
Just one simple thing that can just allow you one little minute of time where you can say to your head STOP!
If you want to shout stop out loud then do it , it's whatever makes you take control of your anxiety and tell it to shut up.
My amazing counsellor has actually been a life saver- although i don't see her that often as I should (although I believe that having a Aspergers/autism specialist counsellor is just the right thing to do and have there just in case!) actually made me look at my actual non anxiety brain and my anxiety brain as actual beings.
I know it sounds strange but bare with me as I explain this...
Okay so you have your non anxiety brain the one that understands the situation, processes it and accepts it for what it is and then tells you that it's something you can deal with and that it might be quite uncomfortable but you can deal with it.
The anxiety brain is the one that just goes What if? Simple as that or gives you the worse case scenario and then reacts on that until it has whipped you up into a frenzy where you are experiencing a severe panic attack.
Before this happens you need to just say to your anxiety brain:
"Listen i've heard you, I understand what you are feeling and I can see where this is going but you need to trust me (aka Non Anxiety brain) and just relax and please trust my decisions!"
I think this idea to visualise the anxiety as an actual entity that you can rationalise with, talk to and understand is a great idea!
Some people see theres as a frightened child inside them who is scared all the time and needs a cuddle, some see it as a weedy man who is in an oversized suit, a little bit greasy and has a pointy, squinty face that has a clip board and just likes to live in this scared state - whatever you see when you think of your anxiety, if you visualise you might actually feel better about understanding it and maybe even combatting it but that is only one option that you can do, it just works for me that I understand my anxiety in that way. There are many self help, advice websites and if you really want to be old fashioned books that help you to understand your anxiety and how to get over it like it's some passing phase that comes and goes and isn't real.
Anxiety doesn't pass, anxiety is a constant state of worry and even fear that consumes you and is linked to your Autism and if you're non autistic - maybe your mental health such as depression, it is self destroying and disruptive, it can lead you to withdraw, become isolated and even physically ill.
Oh boy where to begin with the actual physical signs of anxiety, our bodies react in different ways:
- some people feel like they have to go always go to the loo
- cramps in the stomach
- vile nausea and sometimes even sickness (yes you do vomit!),
- Hyper sensitive skin that blisters and causes rashes( if you have blisters I salute you as i've had them and they are extremely painful).
- Dry mouth or feeling constantly thirsty
- Shaking and losing dexterity - if you have Dyspraxia it can be debilitating to the point where your limbs don't work!!
- Fatigue - you're tired because of the mental strain and sometimes draining effect and that has a knock effect
- Loss of concentration - say goodbye to your brain as it'll just walk off
- Shortness of breath
- Heart palpations - sometimes it can feel like a heart attack
- Headaches and physical pain
The thing that I want to get across to you is that you are not alone and many celebrities and musicians are in the same boat as you!
Billy Joe Armstrong:
Basket Case was written by him and became a international hit in 1994 for Green Day (awesome band) all about his anxiety and the lyrics tell that feeling of over whelming:
"Sometimes i give myself the creeps, sometimes my mind plays tricks on me, it all keeps adding up.. I think i'm cracking up!"
I'm Not Okay - My Chemical Romance:
Now whether or not Gerard Way actually wrote this song about Anxiety or not it became an Emo anthem (yes in 2005 I was one of those original Emo's!) but when you really listen to the lyrics you get a sense that it someone trying to tell you that really they're not okay but still want you to believe in the mask that they are:
"I'm okay now , but i'm telling you the truth, I mean this i'm okay ... TRUST ME!"
Danny Jones - Mcfly
Yes I know .. I love them and have forgiven them.. as they're back baby!!!
But truth is that I didn't know that lead singer and guitarist Danny had Anxiety and still lives with it until I watched a youtube interview he did with London Reel where he opened up about it. Now other band mates Dougie Poynter (Depression, Addiction and Suicide) and Tom Fletcher (Bipolar Disorder) have all had their inner demons in the past but the constant ray of sunshine or so I thought was battling with Anxiety to the point where he was having severe panic attacks. But in public would use comedy to deflect from the actual anxiety he felt... I admire someone that can do that!
Those are a few examples of people in the spotlight who deal with the crushing reality of anxiety... and here comes the advise or help to over come it:
BREATHE!
There are some amazing gifs and videos out there on the internet that make you focus on your breathing and stop the hyperventilation before it takes hold of your body. Breathing is also useful to regain clarity and bring back focus into your life. Like in the Karate Kid (the 1980's original!) Daniel Son learnt that lesson well!
Regulating your breathing also calms down your heart rate.
RELAX!
Take a bath, go for a walk, or get the adult colouring books, i've just bought one on a whim and I always wondered what if I had one and what they would do for me. Some use it to sharpen their brain, some use it to combat stress and in our case for anxiety it's amazing. As you have complete control on what colour you pick and how you colour in!!! They're in stores everywhere so get creative and gain some control.
WRITE IT DOWN!
Writing everything down release it and make yourself feel so much better about your problems and to actually process them, because you can't always get an appointment with a counsellor when you need one and if something is brewing, seeing it written down in a page can be the best thing to do as you can shut the book and put it away.
COMBAT IT!
Dealing with it is something that requires strength from within and you have that strength to overcome it ( as I'm typing this i'm trying to believe it for myself) you don't have to use i'm anxious or i feel uneasy but saying I need five minutes or a break to cope with the anxiety and just get your head into some form of normality for you might be the best thing ever especially in high pressured situations. And if people say no, DO IT ANYWAY!!!
REGULAR SLEEP PATTERNS
I can hear the laughing from my computer screen but a decent nights sleep is a good thing, lets face this head on okay, take out all the distractions that put you off going to sleep so Netflix is going to have to go (i'm actually screaming no at myself!), Phone away and out of sight, kiss goodbye to Tumblr and Facebook and just get your MP3 player, relaxation music on and turned down low.. look online for stuff for stress or anxiety sleeping aids online ... music is a good thing to have! Also de-stress before bed .. like a bath (go to Lush and spoil yourself!), get some candles on and just let the water take you away and i'm turning into Pheobe here but herbal tea might be a good idea before bed!
SEE YOUR GP:
I don't like doctors or medication, but if the anxiety has come to the point that you might need further mental health treatment, you need to tell someone... and get the treatment that you need. Online forums are great and speaking to people with the same thing as you is good but you can get bogged down in their anxieties. If you go to the doctor ... medication such be the last resort for treating anxiety and if they say eat better and exercise I give you permission to scream at them... you need to talk to someone who understands your issues and knows that you need structured support.
Anxiety doesn't have to control you or even define you, just like your autism. It should be seen as a strength rather than a weakness and showing you that you can get over any challenge that gets in your way!
Stay strong! xxx
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