Do Aspergers People really like to be Home Alone?

Aspergers comes with some odd advantages and also some awful disadvantages. 

Being socially awkward or not being able to communicate with other people has left us with this stigma of being the introverted, unsocial and slightly odd/ strange characters that are often portrayed in Dramas on TV. 

This is further from the truth, I know AS people with healthy social lives and loads of friends but sometimes being over stimulated from lights, sounds and even the amount of people in a room or space that we have to share with other people can make us seem distant and want to go back to safe or comfort zone. 

Other problems such as Separation Anxiety and being left on our own can be just as difficult. 

The people who you live with may they be flatmates or carers do have lives themselves and no matter how selfish you feel for wanting them to stay, they sometimes need to trust you to look after yourself while they are away. 

It could be a few days up to a week and no matter what the reason for leaving maybe you need to understand that they will talk to you in the meantime and check in to see that you are ok. 

This is actually my cat Freddie

I actually enjoy the first day of being on my own, I enjoy the sense of independence it gives me and the feeling of actually being a mature and I hate to admit it a 'Normal' adult before the anxiety creeps in and I suddenly realise I don't like being alone and that in fact I hate it and the wall is a great listener but it doesn't reply to you and the cat looks at me as if I'm mental most of the time even if i'm with people or not. 

So what do I do when I'm home alone, apart from comfort eat, talk to the wall and Cat, and weep about being alone? 

Don't worry most of the time I actually try to keep myself busy by finding little things to do around the house and making sure it is clean for the time the person I live with comes home (ok it's my mum) and entertain myself with things like planning different things to do for this blog or watch movies to write about and other things so I don't go stir crazy. 

During the day it's easy to distract yourself from being alone... at night it's a different story. 

I find trouble sleeping when I'm on my own and I constantly check that I've locked the doors about 5 times before I go to bed. It becomes a little bit of an obsession from the anxiety that lives in my mind and creeps up on me at night. 

Now I have had sleepless nights when I have had my mum in the house but at the same time when alone you start hearing every sound in the house and you know it's the boiler or the cat and even just next door moving around but if you are like me, your mind runs away with itself and creates illogical reasons for that noise.

Yep it's rubbish and you spend that time lying there in your bed thinking about how to try to combat all these emotions and feelings and then it comes to 5am and you're still awake!

So what do you do when you're home alone? 

1) Don't watch Crime Shows or Horror Movies: 

Sounds like a stupid tip but frightening yourself to death and seeing people breaking into houses and then realise that you're home alone and letting your mind run wild with what if's and then planning for every outcome possible will leave you still up at 5am staring at the ceiling and over analysing every noise and creek in the house. So just relax and watch things that cheer you up. In my case these shows on repeat: 

From Left To Right - Russell Howard's Good News and QI (episode Groovy christmas special series 7).

2)Keep yourself Busy: 

At this time of the year there is something that you could be doing. I know no one ever likes to clean but if you live with other people they will want to come home to a clean house rather than a bomb site or pig sty. Don't leave it to the last minute and pace it out over the days they are not here. If the washing pile is sky high or the dishes need doing then why don't you just do it. Music is a great way to get it done faster and you won't be as bored! 

3) Cook your own meals, take out is not the answer! 

It doesn't matter if you can't even boil an egg but getting take out is the wrong thing to do when you are on your own for a week. I'm not saying you have to be a 5 star chef but even if you know how to turn on an oven and put in something that take 30 minutes or less that is healthier than a take away then you're on your way to a good start!! 

4) Check your doors before you go out or going to bed: 

If you're are like me you constantly check doors constantly to make sure that they are locked. I feel safer knowing that they are locked and that no one can get into my house when I'm at home. I always check about five times if I feel really paranoid but normally it's once or twice before I go to bed. I do find that when I go out somewhere on my own and no one is in the house and I forget that I have locked the door and I'm already on public transport. When I get home after having a panic attack and find that I have locked the door! 

5) If you feel lonely - talk to someone: 

It might be over the internet, it might be texting a friend or maybe just checking in on the person who has left you. Being on your own is an awful thing as even Aspergers people want human contact. Yes believe it or not being anti-social isn't us locking ourselves in a room for hours on end. We like to communicate and being lonely can manifest itself negatively. If you feel lonely you need to talk to someone who you trust or maybe have your friends round or go hang out with them for a while. If you do go out follow tip above :). 

I know it sucks to be on your own but sometimes it's a great learning curve for someone with Aspergers and learning to rely on yourself for a change!

Although we hate change, one of the best things about being Aspergers is that we adapt to our environment and situation and if we have the confidence to believe in ourselves we can thrive in the most difficult and anxious situations.