#Survival Guide College And Unwanted Surprises
Sometimes little curve balls are thrown at you and you can't avoid them even if you try. But forget running around panicking as I have some helpful tips to get you through.
We've all had that moment where we haven't written something down or a tutor mentions something and you have no idea what they are going on about, but when does that little something going from something you've forgotten about to a complete and utter shock.
The reason i'm writing this is because it happened to me and I didn't handle it very well, I had a complete and total melt down with crying being my main reaction. So lecturers and tutors pay attention - if you're going to throw a spanner in the works make sure you tell the Aspergers person in your class what is happening a few weeks in advance!
So what does this all have to do with us Aspergers students??
Well if a tutor says:
"Ok you've got a exam or test in a week."
Before the actual exam date, you're notified in enough time to be able to put some coping strategies in place to deal with the anxiety and stress that you naturally will feel if told that you have to take an exam. You can talk to your counsellor can give you advice on key things you can do to minimise stress as well as going to the exam post I posted on here for more information:
But when it comes as a surprise how do you even begin to cope without wanting to scream at the top of your lungs or turn into a crying mess in front of everyone?
Here is what happened to me:
Normal college day, having a little giggle with my friends singing in the corridor and we went into a lesson we all in fact hated.
Learning and Development was what used to be Tutorial Period, where you'd have a lesson with your tutor where he/she would try to teach you citizenship and other things that as an 16 + year old you want everyone to leave you alone and let you do your work which they did because they'd rather you get an A on coursework rather than an C Grade.
But my college changed all that and we were stuck with a woman who didn't have the skills to teach young adults and young adults who were not bothered what so ever by what she wanted to learn as we did it all in High School. We'd be doing things about finance and to be honest it was my last year at college and I had a massive deadline with own tutor breathing down our necks and also a University Application and Student Loan application to think about rather than an NVQ that I would never use.
So we're in lesson and out of nowhere she announces:
"Oh you have an exam to take online is everyone alright with that?"
And I thought what the actual hell? She never warned me.. I haven't done any revision and I haven't even thought about it because lets face it I have to apply for my University in the next couple of weeks because otherwise I won't get on the course I want and everything just started to unravel in my head!
And just when I my thoughts began to run around my head at the speed of light I literally flipped the switch from Flight to Fight!
I went a little bit crazy and just shouted:
"NO, I'M NOT DOING THIS... NO WAY!"
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*Note that was the clean Version*
All I remember is that I flew out of the room, slamming the door with my friends looking confused because I never really acted up in lesson and I certainly never answered back! So for me to do that was a big step as it was a positive in a negative way because I felt comfortable in that environment. And I stormed off like a grumpy teenager outside and grabbed my phone and melted.
Queue the Crying Fit, I was shaking and I didn't know who to turn to so I went down to the Learning Support office and knocked on the door and broke down in front of the best head of department you could have! She went mental! She was just as upset and angry as I was and stormed up to the building I was in and then into that classroom and that tutor got a right telling off.
And lets just say I didn't get an NVQ Qualification but I did get a Level 3 BTEC in Media Production which lead onto a BA(hons) Degree in Television and Radio!
Looking back I knew I shouldn't have reacted the way I did and the minute I calmed down I couldn't believe I behaved like a two year old child! But in that moment I saw RED and I knew I had to get out before a brand new iMac flew across the room.
So to learn from my mistakes and as a 23 year old woman here are some little tips to help you through those stressful situations.
1) If you are surprised to the point of panic, tell someone before it's to late.
I'd wished that I turned to my TA in class and told them how I was feeling instead of having a violent reaction. If you let someone know that you are panicked or scared they can calmly tell the tutor that you're not dealing with it well. If the tutor says they gave you fair warning again ask your TA because they would've have been there and they can fight your corner!
2) If you feel mad - it's perfectly fine to leave the room.. just don't slam the doors!
Although Slamming the door might be so satisfying - it's not the correct thing to do!
If you are having a Fight instead of Flight reaction then the sooner you leave the room the better, even if you are told you're not allowed. It's all in your Special Needs Documentation and if it says you can leave the room.. Damn Straight you will leave that room at any point.
Don't let someone bully you into staying even if they are a tutor!
Again tip number 1 is the better thing to do as you can slip out of the room and calm down before returning to the room and having a little word with them later. But if you feel like you want to hit the roof the best thing to do is move away from anything that is valuable.
3) It's ok to cry!
If you need to cry... just cry. Don't hold it back because you're in a room full of your peers and you feel like a fool. Crying releases endorphins that make you happier after the event of crying. Yes you'll feel stupid but keeping all those emotions bottled up is more dangerous.
4) Please go and see you're Head of Special Needs!!!! They are you're Friends!
These people are here to make sure you get the best experience of Education as you can get. And one stupid tutor is not going to ruin the last how many years you've fought tooth and nail to keep it and to get to where you are!!! So tell them what has happened and they can tell them off as well as making sure you get to calm down in the right way which isn't destructive and it might mean taking you to the canteen to have a milky, sweet cup of tea! Your Mental Health and Emotional Wellbeing is apart of your condition and if that is messed up you're not going to be able to function properly.
5) Breathe through it.
You will have the tightness in your chest and your heart beating at a 1000 beats per second and no breathing at all. If you do that then you will Hyperventilate and then you are in trouble, going blue like a Smurf is not fun! And could land you in the back of an ambulance rather than being healthy and happy.
So instead of holding your breath, start to breath in through your nose and out through your mouth and focus on only your breathing and no one else. Don't let anyone interfere because unless they are a trained mental health professional or your counsellor they have no reason to get involved.
Whatever anyone tries to throw at you I hope to god this never happens to any one of you reading this blog post!
This one of the lowest points I've ever had in college and I hate the woman who did that to me. But at the end of the day I did what I had to do and still got a good grade and well a get out of a stupid lesson pass in the process and was allowed to do my university application in peace!!
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