The Waiting Game

In a world where everything must all happen at once, why is it that time seems to stand still when you want something? Whether it be hearing back from a job or hearing back on a piece you've written and even back from an organisation that is supposed to help you? 

This is something that I am dealing with right now and when you have set yourself goals and targets to get stuff done and out of the way, it is frustrating especially if your mind works at one hundred miles an hour! 

Whoever said: 

"Patience is a Virtue." 

Was of course a very wise person, but in modern life when everything is available and life can move at light speed do we really have time to be patient?

Another question that needs to be addressed is with Aspergers do we have not only need to have the patience but actually the mental strength to stop the niggling voice of frustration and doubt from taking over in our heads and driving us insane?

To answer the question - we do have the strength to push out all the thoughts that are negative and try and power through whether we like it or not. The drive that we have is something to be proud of but the frustration that we feel is down to the fact that we want things to be done NOW rather than in a week or three. And being reliant on other people can be difficult.

I have this annoying voice right now in my head and it normally comes from when I put myself out there - asking for help and not to hear back when you write URGENT is annoying enough because the definition of the word means that you need help now but when it's from a person that is employed to help people with your condition in this case then it becomes more and more of a problem and verges from the frustration phase into the anger phase.

My problems right now stem from the fact I need to get stuff done and alter little things that I find difficult in order to progress and unlike a NT person I need some extra support. You all know how that feels.

But when you try and access the support and it takes people more than a week to get back to you to help then it becomes a problem. I'm not the only AS person on the planet and I understand other people need help but when I openly contact someone for help and support I would like to have a phone call or email back the same week rather than being left hanging on wondering if I've being ignored.

With creative things like if I write a script or an article or even send out a book synopsis I have some objectivity as it's my work and I know it'll be looked out and then someone will decide whether they like it or not and that I am fine with but when it comes to my own wellbeing and also my life I get upset and the depression I have that comes with it that I realise or should I say feel that:

"I'm not good enough." 

And that feeling eats away at your core until there is nothing left inside but doubt. Over the years as I've grown older and hopefully a little bit more wiser? 

I've grown to learn and take in the fact that self worth is not given to you by other people but by yourself. 

I'm not saying you have to be arrogant but what I am saying is that if you learn to love yourself and your own self worth then it won't matter if others shove it back in your face and treat you like dirt because you know what you are truly worth. 

With self worth and also when it is your life personally if someone actively pushes you to the bottom of the pile it can knock you back but I have some little tips and tricks up your sleeve.

1) Don't get angry - think positively. 

Yes anger is a simple reaction for anyone to have when hurt and upset but letting it control you and how you then react to a person or experience can hinder you as a person. Instead of letting the anger in and taking over simply let it in , understand why this emotion is happening and then process it. Journals are a brilliant way to vent and allow you to positively let out your anger and emotions that are taking control and making you feel awful. Writing is a process where in the end you can always lock it away forever or burn it and let it go (queue Frozen Song!) or you can go back once in a better place and read over what you wrote and analyse it. You can be proud of yourself as you've moved on and have registered the emotion, noted it and expressed it in a positive and safe way and then you've reflected on it. 

2) If you haven't heard anything back from someone who you've contacted. 

This is something that bothers me especially if I have contacted people numerous times and no one has got back to me. 

Sending a friendly but professional sounding email or a phone call if you feel confident enough to just remind the person that you need to speak to them and that it is important that they contact you as soon as possible is fine. 

If you're still ignored then again email or call again and use the word Urgent. 

Sometimes it falls down to work load, but if no one contacts you then the ball is back in your court so call or email again and note down how many times you have contacted them. 

Don't be disheartened! 

3) When you get through to someone don't go Mental! 

It might seem difficult but going mad is something that will not help you and usually the person contacting you will just simply put the phone down. 

Instead express your frustration in an articulated and calm manner. With Aspergers you are intelligent and people seem to think that you are some form of idiot. Instead just use your intelligence and articulate that you are :
a) Unhappy 

b) You want a solution to the problem 

c) Calm and in control.

Being calm and in control is essential to your well being rather than theirs because at the end of the day when you get distressed or upset the only person you're hurting is yourself rather than the other person. 

I hope that those tips help ?

Sophie xxx