What is Love?
It is a question on everyone's lips! Whether Aspergers or not!
I have had relationships that have lasted for a few weeks to a couple of years before my diagnosis and at the time I was still young and didn't know who I was as a person.
If you asked me that question now I still won't be able to answer you fully but I know a little bit more about myself than I did before. But add in the rest of me and there seems to be something that keeps holding me back and no matter how many episodes of Friends or Sex and the City I watch I still don't seem to understand how I would cope in an adult relationship?
The teenage years are all about finding out who you are:
Also when you grow older and more mature it's more about what you can do that matters whether it be getting an education and earning a degree , what job you have or how much money you have and what house you have and car blah blah blah.
But it seems for a single girl who wants to know what love is.. and where I live in particular there are NO MEN that I have met that have anything in common with me, clever enough (not being big- headed it is on my list they have to be at least interested in Whats going on in the world, reading books and films that don't have sexy girls in them and several gun fights!) and ultimately someone who will love me for who I am.
I have been told I am picky from outsiders and that I should just go out there and find a guy and date him like that is the normal thing to do.
It takes courage to even imagine to talk to a random guy I hardly know and to in fact make a choice on the spot whether I like him without making sure he has no convictions or is good enough to meet my parents and introduce to some of my family and also I need to feel comfortable.
Again the word Chemistry comes to mind!
It is true what they say if sparks fly and you feel butterflies in your tummy then he might be the guy for you. And dating is a new adventure you have to be ready for. I don't really like online dating I tried it and the guys are to in your face messaging stuff like:
"Hey you're sexy wanna hook up? ;)"
Which one freaked me out as I was like:
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"
And after several panic attacks and talking to guys who weren't what I was looking for I thought I was better off being on my own. I had no sparks or butterflies... all I had was disappointment and that was when I came to think that sometimes Prince Charming is not in the online world maybe I need to look in the real world. But I don't want to kiss all the frogs to find Prince Charming as his white horse isn't coming over the hill in my direction!
So what do I do?
The answer is as yet is I have no idea! All I do know is that maybe I need to get out of my town where I live and meet someone somewhere else and I'm wondering at the moment and very depressingly I might meet him in Hospital!!!
The idea of this blog post is one day making a:
"Aspergers Girl Guide to Dating and Relationships."
Or for short:
"The Handbook."
As no woman Aspergers or not has ever had a Handbook on relationships passed down to them from their mum have they?
It seems to be a complete and total mind field and for an AS girl it gets more difficult... because we have to tell the guy who we truly are and except the rejection when they give us the confused look and then the realisation of the horror stories they've heard about autism and then the awkward silence and the sheer panic on his face when he gives a half assed story and runs to the hills.
So I hope you liked the blog post?
Sophiexxxx
I have had relationships that have lasted for a few weeks to a couple of years before my diagnosis and at the time I was still young and didn't know who I was as a person.
If you asked me that question now I still won't be able to answer you fully but I know a little bit more about myself than I did before. But add in the rest of me and there seems to be something that keeps holding me back and no matter how many episodes of Friends or Sex and the City I watch I still don't seem to understand how I would cope in an adult relationship?
The teenage years are all about finding out who you are:
- What Group are you in?
- What music you like?
- What fashion trend you are?
Also when you grow older and more mature it's more about what you can do that matters whether it be getting an education and earning a degree , what job you have or how much money you have and what house you have and car blah blah blah.
But it seems for a single girl who wants to know what love is.. and where I live in particular there are NO MEN that I have met that have anything in common with me, clever enough (not being big- headed it is on my list they have to be at least interested in Whats going on in the world, reading books and films that don't have sexy girls in them and several gun fights!) and ultimately someone who will love me for who I am.
I have been told I am picky from outsiders and that I should just go out there and find a guy and date him like that is the normal thing to do.
It takes courage to even imagine to talk to a random guy I hardly know and to in fact make a choice on the spot whether I like him without making sure he has no convictions or is good enough to meet my parents and introduce to some of my family and also I need to feel comfortable.
Again the word Chemistry comes to mind!
It is true what they say if sparks fly and you feel butterflies in your tummy then he might be the guy for you. And dating is a new adventure you have to be ready for. I don't really like online dating I tried it and the guys are to in your face messaging stuff like:
"Hey you're sexy wanna hook up? ;)"
Which one freaked me out as I was like:
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"
And after several panic attacks and talking to guys who weren't what I was looking for I thought I was better off being on my own. I had no sparks or butterflies... all I had was disappointment and that was when I came to think that sometimes Prince Charming is not in the online world maybe I need to look in the real world. But I don't want to kiss all the frogs to find Prince Charming as his white horse isn't coming over the hill in my direction!
So what do I do?
The answer is as yet is I have no idea! All I do know is that maybe I need to get out of my town where I live and meet someone somewhere else and I'm wondering at the moment and very depressingly I might meet him in Hospital!!!
The idea of this blog post is one day making a:
"Aspergers Girl Guide to Dating and Relationships."
Or for short:
"The Handbook."
As no woman Aspergers or not has ever had a Handbook on relationships passed down to them from their mum have they?
It seems to be a complete and total mind field and for an AS girl it gets more difficult... because we have to tell the guy who we truly are and except the rejection when they give us the confused look and then the realisation of the horror stories they've heard about autism and then the awkward silence and the sheer panic on his face when he gives a half assed story and runs to the hills.
So I hope you liked the blog post?
Sophiexxxx
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