# Handbook - Online Romances not everybody is telling the truth

Meeting someone Online can be fun and exciting and well a relationship can blossom from nothing into something more than friendship but beware not everyone presents themselves in a honest and truthful way.

We've all seen Catfish the film and the hit MTV reality show where Nev and Max travel all around America helping people who are in online committed relationships only to have their hearts either fill with joy or break when they realise they've been played like a fool. 

Now I'm not saying that having a relationship online will not lead to love at some point but I would recommend that you use a verified online dating site where you will have to pay a fee to subscribe and get all the features on offer to you. I have used them in the past and didn't really like the way some men came onto me but if you find someone you automatically get on with then I would suggest that messaging is your best way to get to know each other through the site!

Tip: 

DO NOT give out personal information to someone online it is highly dangerous and you don't know this person and therefore can't trust them! 

These sites do hold meet and greats for members to socialise and hopefully organise another date so I would recommend them over something like Facebook or Twitter and other social media- this includes MSN if you can even remember that?? 

There have been times or periods where you can have a random add on Facebook - I have them a-lot where they are friends with your friends and then out of nowhere a Message pops up. Before you reply check their page and then google them. If it links to another persons webpage like My -Space or Twitter account that isn't them then block and delete immediately!!! 

Tip:

If they are friends with your friends on Facebook and in real life... give your friend a text saying:

"Hey do you know this person?" 

If they reply yes and give an answer with information from how they know them then you're in the clear sort of! I would recommend casual conversation and just play it slow and steady rather than jumping in at the deep end. 

I am always self conscious when it comes to new people and not very trust worthy and like to build a friendship first before really looking at if I like them more than just a friend. I always tell the guy I'm Aspergers right at the beginning and if they except it or not thats their choice. The process can take years but if you take the time to get to know them and hang out with them then you'll find you'll be closer. 

If people are interested in you and they are not in your local area- it's going to become tricky! 

(I'll blog later about Long distance Relationships!) 

In the UK and where I live the furthest I can travel to meet someone via train that is cheap enough is nearer to me so Preston, Manchester, Leeds and at a push Liverpool anywhere further than that then I think it is a Long distance relationship which can be difficult if you do not have the means of transportation to get to where they live. In America this is a much more difficult thing to do as you can fit my country in one state over 100 times over! So I'd make sure if you have the means to travel longer distances before getting to involved but then Your Head can't Rule Your HEART!  

My tips are for relationship building: 

1. Build up a friendship- it might be the longer way to gain a relationship but lets face it it's better than rushing into something that you might later regret. 
2. Be wary of the person you're talking to- research might be in order as some people are really good story tellers! Take a good look at their profile and what they have said about themselves. Also on Facebook look at their friends page and see the connections to these people like School, Place of Work or even University and more importantly Family Members!
3. Meet them in person!!! -I know it sounds simple but if they are in the local area arrange to meet in a public place and don't put any pressure on yourself thinking this is a DATE! It's two people meeting for coffee or watching a film at the cinema! 
4. If it doesn't feel right it usually means it's not- I know this is another silly sounding tip but your intuition is your best friend and with an Aspergers it's more tuned to sense out when something is not all it seems. If you feel threatened or uncomfortable in an online situation then report that person to the site and delete or block from your profile. Also if the person is to in your face and asking you stuff in a sexual manner tell them that you are not comfortable and if they don't listen then leave the conversation and block if on Facebook. Delete and report on Dating Sites. 
5. Be honest yourself- I know it seems stupid and sometimes you want to hide who you truly are but you can't build a relationship without telling them that you are who you are and if you deny it then you're not being honest with yourself or the other person in the relationship. Autism is not sometimes really understood but if you explain that this is something that is a positive most of the time but does have it's negative moments with you seeming like a crazy person to other person then you have a problem. You shouldn't ashamed and if that person truly cares about you then they'll stay with you and try and understand if they run to the hills brush it off and start again. 
6. If they run don't feel defeated- If they have a problem with your Autism then they ain't worth it at all. Don't fall for the first person to show you attention because you have to try all angles and work out what is right for you and what is the point trying to be someone you're not to please someone else? IT ISN'T WORTH IT! And to be honest if a Man can't get over the fact that you have Autism then he isn't worth your time or energy move on! Being cool is better than being upset! 

I hope this post has helped? There are more in the pipeline coming your way soon. 

Any questions comment below :)

Sophie xxx