The Next Step isn't that easy- Frustration in overdrive
So I'm now a graduate, no party streamers for me just yet, after going through a stressful and somewhat hellish summer, I got the confidence to get out there and try and get a job in my chosen industry.
I was feeling happy and confident and a slightly tad nervous as hey I'm a graduate and well I saw the best foot in the door job for me, simple three day a week job in a proper environment that is similar to the one I was taught in at university and I passed the good news onto my friends to hear:
"You're aiming a little bit to high, why don't you get an ordinary job?"
Now I know that I shouldn't get stressed but when doubt from people you consider to give you some support say that it kinda knocks your good vibes!
I'm not the most confident person, I doubt myself on a daily basis, thinking am I good enough and having to do the yes you are good enough speech to yourself in your own head to then be knocked down or to be told you're setting the bar to high is like kicking all the positive energy out of me.
As someone with Aspergers, life well can throw you bad hand after bad hand, and the sinking feeling of being stuck in a rut can be overwhelming. But the positive side is that we do not give up, no matter what. Although we are scared and feel like we have nowhere else to go, have nothing to do and the simple thing of who is going to give us a job? We still power through and go no, I will try and try.
My answer to the aiming to high thing was simple:
"I haven't worked 6 years of my life to not get a job in my dream industry, I haven't invested the money I have to not get a job in the field I want... and I will get it!"
Maybe I was being stubborn, but I seem to think I was being Strong Minded, Concise and on some level of it confident that could be misunderstood as arrogance but in my mind it was simple why go through everything I have to get nowhere?
I know this is a problem that every graduate faces, but when you have something like Aspergers thrown into the mix, it is a battle field that you have already given up on fighting even when you know that fighting and not settling for second best or the easy option because it's safer.
Everything you've already been through has been a long hard battle, education is enough to send people over the edge, to battle on top of the pressure of getting the right exam results to throw into what is already stressful enough and add mental health problems and others on top at a young age can be something that can be too much to handle, and that slippery sloop that we call Depression and Anxiety can just make you stop and stay in the place you feel safe and not move on and believe what the negative people have told you.
To overcome all that is a achievement , to go on and do something different with you're life is amazing and you should be so proud if you're in the same position as me, at a crossroads waiting for the right path to light up and show the way. Waiting for that opportunity to come and grasp it with both hands because you deserve it! You've worked your backside off and it's time now to close the old chapters in your life and start again, writing the next chapter.. onwards and upwards.
The Beauty of being you and what we are is because we come with a different set of skills, outlook and also we are hard workers. Although we let our emotions get in the way of who we really are and let them for a moment make us feel worse rather than better, but we ignore those feelings or let them out of our systems so that we can do what we want to do!
I hope this hasn't been a rant post, because it hasn't.... It is a empowering post!
Sophie xxx
I was feeling happy and confident and a slightly tad nervous as hey I'm a graduate and well I saw the best foot in the door job for me, simple three day a week job in a proper environment that is similar to the one I was taught in at university and I passed the good news onto my friends to hear:
"You're aiming a little bit to high, why don't you get an ordinary job?"
Now I know that I shouldn't get stressed but when doubt from people you consider to give you some support say that it kinda knocks your good vibes!
I'm not the most confident person, I doubt myself on a daily basis, thinking am I good enough and having to do the yes you are good enough speech to yourself in your own head to then be knocked down or to be told you're setting the bar to high is like kicking all the positive energy out of me.
As someone with Aspergers, life well can throw you bad hand after bad hand, and the sinking feeling of being stuck in a rut can be overwhelming. But the positive side is that we do not give up, no matter what. Although we are scared and feel like we have nowhere else to go, have nothing to do and the simple thing of who is going to give us a job? We still power through and go no, I will try and try.
My answer to the aiming to high thing was simple:
"I haven't worked 6 years of my life to not get a job in my dream industry, I haven't invested the money I have to not get a job in the field I want... and I will get it!"
Maybe I was being stubborn, but I seem to think I was being Strong Minded, Concise and on some level of it confident that could be misunderstood as arrogance but in my mind it was simple why go through everything I have to get nowhere?
I know this is a problem that every graduate faces, but when you have something like Aspergers thrown into the mix, it is a battle field that you have already given up on fighting even when you know that fighting and not settling for second best or the easy option because it's safer.
Everything you've already been through has been a long hard battle, education is enough to send people over the edge, to battle on top of the pressure of getting the right exam results to throw into what is already stressful enough and add mental health problems and others on top at a young age can be something that can be too much to handle, and that slippery sloop that we call Depression and Anxiety can just make you stop and stay in the place you feel safe and not move on and believe what the negative people have told you.
To overcome all that is a achievement , to go on and do something different with you're life is amazing and you should be so proud if you're in the same position as me, at a crossroads waiting for the right path to light up and show the way. Waiting for that opportunity to come and grasp it with both hands because you deserve it! You've worked your backside off and it's time now to close the old chapters in your life and start again, writing the next chapter.. onwards and upwards.
The Beauty of being you and what we are is because we come with a different set of skills, outlook and also we are hard workers. Although we let our emotions get in the way of who we really are and let them for a moment make us feel worse rather than better, but we ignore those feelings or let them out of our systems so that we can do what we want to do!
I hope this hasn't been a rant post, because it hasn't.... It is a empowering post!
Sophie xxx
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