The Asperger's Girl Guide

So update, I've finished university and now I am trying to fill my time what ever I can get my hands on, i'm still working at the radio station once a week, tune in if you wish... but other than that i'm currently trying to write a book.  As an AS person, creativity is one of our many talents, but to actually sit down and concerntrate on a book can be difficult. Again i'm looking into the depths of my own mind, my imagination runs runs wild and is untamed so I can be up in the early hours of the morning writing something. I have already written 4 chapters and although I know the plot and story it constantly shifts and changes.  Unlike writting a script , you can go into more detail and that detail can be anything you want it to be, on the surface it might seem like something is going to happen and I will draw it out without thinking. Writing is a theorpy, frustrations can be released, and whether it's a fanfiction or just a private story it can places you want to ex...

I can't explain what I felt today, remember my last post where I mentioned that I have finished my degree and the elation I felt because of that. I told a story about when I was at school and what I would say to my 13 year old self. Today I explored this in more detail with a councillor and the only reason I am sharing this with you is that for the first time in 5 maybe 6 years I opened myself up to trusting myself for the first time in my life. As a 22 year old looking back at this terrified little girl who felt like she had no one in the world but herself I felt horrible as she still lives within me, screaming for help and I can't bring myself to help her as I know, even when she looks at me with her tortured eyes and expression (I visualise things) I couldn't bare the site. It was like she was begging me and I couldn't even hold her hand and tell her everything is going to be alright and she should trust me. Trust issues is something everyone will go through whe...

So the light at the end of the tunnel has been and gone, I have finished a degree and that is the best feeling in the world. It has been 3 years of hard work, pain, depression, stress and well just feeling like I couldn't do it. I have to wait until July until I finally get the actual piece of paper. But that feeling of absolute bliss and pride that you have achieved something is coursing through my veins and I am happy. I have a future and it starts here, the end of my education life and the start of my working life. I want to make Aspergers more understood and all the stigmas attached to it to go away so more people like us can do things like get a degree and work in a job that they love. I know it sounds cheesy but although it has been a hard and long battle between me, my Aspergers and also the university... IT WAS WORTH IT! I can't describe the way you feel, I think it is like having  the best day of your life, the satisfaction that you have completed something and ...

Ok remember I mentioned that essay I have to write on Radio Drama, I forgot to look at the fact I have to make the product that I have created apart of it. So looking over a powerpoint that contains stuff that we either did in the first year or second year of university and think WHAT??? See if you can understand this and factor it into what I am writing about: • Medium: How does your programme fit within the medium in its current state of technological and industrial development? • Format: Does your project correspond to or depart from and existing format? Bearing in mind that formats are industry standards and hence different to genres • Genre: Is your project part of an existing media genre? Does it conform or depart from generic conventions? Is it a hybrid? Does it propose a new development of the genre? • Style: Is your project characterised by a particular audio/visual style? What aesthetic choices have you made and what inspired these choices? Remember st...

Again the title seems vague but it's that time of the year when I have so many deadlines (today included) where I have a ton of work to do and no good starting point. I've already written 1 essay which seems to be enough but now have to do another and this is where my brain begins to melt. I have not time to do this essay and also clean up my actual production that goes along side this. So i'm sat in an editing suit looking at my essay and just wanting to bang my head against the wall. I did yesterday buy something to aid with my stress levels but I forgot it and also I don't think my uni would like me chucking a rugby ball around in a room full of computers. But you know what can you do. So apart from using my back up plan I'm now staring at my computer screen with the cursor just blinking back and forth looking at me to get my work done. This is the final stage and I need to get it done, but I feel over- worked and under pressure from everything and everyone. ...

So final semester stress has finally raised it's ugly head + my friends are pressuring me to forgive someone who just had complete and total disrespect for me right now in the near to 12 days left  before my final project deadline.  This is going to kill me! If I don't keep calm, which I have done for a while but it's at the stage where I feel like i'm going to explode. And I don't want to cos all it does is cause misery and pain and ultimately again I am the bad guy. I also don't want to be sectioned or go back to a mental health unit because I can't go back. I've come so far and I feel like if I slip now at the last and most important hurdle that I'll just say goodbye to my life that i've worked so hard to create for myself. A career, A passion and ultimately a two fingers to my school who told me:  "I'd amount to nothing."  To win a battle with my own demons who control me, saying that they're right and that I am nothing, wor...

So it's time of year again where chocolate is bountiful and where I usually will stuff my face with the stuff! But this year it's slightly different as I've been going to the gym recently which is a great thing but can also be a nightmare for most AS people. Keeping fit is a good way of getting stress and anxiety out of our systems as well as keeping us in shape. But again there are lots of obstacles that can hold us back in these situations: usually it is again people. I don't know about you but I hate people watching me eat, let alone stare at me as I run on a treadmill. Now my first tip is to make sure that you go earlier in the morning or go in the afternoon as the gym is usually dead cos most people are at work during the day. Also take your music with you, most machines including the treadmill and the cross trainer do have an input for a USB or if you have an Apple Product where you simply plug it into the machine and then put your headphones in the audio jack...